India Pakistan Jokes...

Happy Independence Day...

A Pakistani and an Indian get into a car accident and it's a bad one. Both cars are totally demolished but amazingly neither of them is hurt. After they crawl out of their cars, the Indian sees the Pakistani's car and asks, "So you're a Pakistani. I'm an Indian. Just look at our cars. There's nothing left, but we are unhurt. This must be a sign from God. God must have meant that we should meet and be friends and live together in peace the rest of our days."

The Pakistani replies, "I agree with you completely this must be a sign from Allah."

The Indian continues, "And look at this. Here's another miracle. My car is completely demolished but this bottle of Johnny Walker Black Label didn't break. Surely God wants us to drink this wine and celebrate our good fortune." Then he hands the bottle to the Pakistani.

The Pakistani says : "Even though alcohol is banned by Islam but it looks like Allah wanted us to drink." He takes a few big swigs, and hands the bottle back to the Indian.

The Indian takes the bottle, immediately puts the cap on, and hands it back to the Pakistani. The Pakistani asks, "Aren't you having any?" The Indian replies, "No... I think I'll wait for the police!"

Due to the tension in India-Pakistan border, the Customs officials in India were warned of possible smuggling of guns from Pakistan into India . A man came to the border from Pakistan on a motorcycle with two bags tied on each sides of the cycle and he was stopped!

"What are you carrying?" asked the officials. He replied, "Just sand!" "OK, open it the bags! Lets see!" He did and it contained nothing but sand.

After 2 days, the motorcycle man was again on the border. "What are you carrying now?" asked the officials. He said, "Just sand!".

"OK, open it! Lets see!"

Again, nothing but sand! And so it went for several many days.

Soon after the war was over and everything was fine, sometime later one of the officials met the man with the bicycle in a market. "Hey you! We are sure you were smuggling something but always the bags had sand! What was it that you were smuggling?"

"Motor cycles!" he replied...

Vajpayee and Musharraf meet up in Islamabad for talks on nuclear arms. When Vajpayee sits down he notices Musharraf 's chair has three buttons on the armrest. They begin talking but after 5 minutes Musharraf presses a button and a boxing gloves pops out of Vajpayee chair and bashes him on his face. Vajpayee, barely believing it, carries on talking but after another few minutes Musharraf presses a second button and out comes a large boot and kicks him in the butt. Vajpayee is kicked off but still remains calm. They resume the talk, but after 5 minutes Musharraf presses the final button, and from under the table another boxing glove hits Vajpayee. The Indian PM is really fed up by it now and stands up to leave. 

"We'll continue this talk Next week in the New Delhi" says the Prime Minister.

Musharraf, choking from laughing, is too proud to say no. So the appointment stands. A week later Vajpayee receives Musharraf in the Prime Minister's Office. As Musharraf sits down, he sees three buttons in the arm-rest of Vajpayees chair. As the 20 min meeting goes on, Musharraf sees Vajpayee press the first button, and ducks really fast, but nothing seems to happen. This doesn't stop Vajpayee from laughing...really loudly. After this, Indian PM continues where he left off, until he presses another button. Musharraf reacts really quickly, and jumps up. Absolutely nothing happens, and this time Vajpayee falls out of his chair laughing. Musharraf doesn 't get it - what the hell is happening here? But he hasn't been harmed yet, so he sits down again to talk further. After A few minutes Indian PM presses the final button. This time, Musharraf stays sitting, but

Vajpayee isn't, he's rolling on the floor, doubled up from laughing. Musharraf is really annoyed by now, so he stands up from his chair and shouts: "I've had enough of this, I'm going back to Pakistan " Vajpayee: (Through tears of laughter from the floor) -
" PAKISTAN?? WHAT PAKISTAN??? DO YOU THINK IT'S STILL THERE??"

Two Pakistanis boarded a plane for Washington. One took the window seat, the other sat on the middle seat. Just before takeoff, a fat Sardarji got on & took the aisle seat next to them. He kicked of his shoes, wiggled his toes & was settling in when the Pakistani in the window seat said, "I think I'll go up & get a coke." "No problem," said the Sardar, "I'll get it for u." While he was away, the Pakistani picked up the shoe & spat in it. When the Indian returned with the coke, the other Pakistani said, "That looks good.I think I'll have one too." Again, the Sardar obligingly went to fetch it. And while he was gone, the Pakistani picked up the other shoe & spat in it. The Indian returned with the coke & they all sat back & enjoyed the short flight to New York. As the plane was landing the Indian slipped his feet into his shoes & knew immediately what had happened. "How long must this go on," the Sardar asked, with pain and sorrow. "This enmity between our people... this hatred... this animosity... this spitting in shoes & pissing in the cokes!"

A Pakistani tourist after a long walk in one of very fancy clean streets of Delhi (India) found himself needing a toilet badly. After a long search he could not find any, Eventually couldn't control and chose a silent corner of a clean street to release himself. Once he had just started, a police official approached him, Hey What do you think you're doing here? Pakistani tourist: sorry I have to "P" Police: No PP here okay? Follow me...

The Police officer took him to a beautiful garden nearby with lots of grass, flowers and singing birds around.... Police: PP here.. have a nice day police said. Pakistani tourist: Oh sir ... that is very nice of you, is this

Indian courtesy? Police: No... this is Pakistani Embassy...

A Pakistani US citizen goes to the doctor because he just simply doesn't feel good. He's tired, his stomach is upset, & he has a headache. Just feels terrible. The doctor checks him over and can't find any medical reason for him to feel the way he does. He offers a Naturotherepy approach that he has seen work before. The Pakistani man is stunned, though, that the treatment means he has to go home, and piss into a bucket and leave it in his basement for a week. Trust me," the doctor says, "I have seen this work." The man goes home and follows through on the instructions. Within a day, though his house smells terrible and by the end of the week, it is an overwhelming stench. His eyes water every time he walks in the door, but he feels no better.

He calls to yell at the doctor who calmly says," Go down and take three big deep breaths directly from the bucket and you will be cured." "You're crazy!" comes the reply. "Trust me." says the doctor. Down he goes into the basement and he takes the first breath. Gagging and choking, he does it again. Then, on the third breath, he feels the headache leave. His stomach settles and he feels amazingly well. The stench is even tolerable. He calls the doctor to tell him the good news."I told you I've seen this work with people from Pakistan before," says the doctor.

"YOU WERE JUST HOMESICK"!!!